Diversion
by Megs23
Summary: You've got to find a diversion. You can't let them all become special, or you'll burn out.


This is what happens when I'm bored to tears, and *can't wait* to go back to school. Sad huh? As soon as ff.net decides to cooperate with me, I'll post it there. 

Title: Diversion  
Author: Megan  
Pairing: N/S   
Spoiler: Too Tough To Die  
Summary: You've got to find something to like. You can't get too close to the victims.   
Author's Notes: This is dedicated to my good friend, Missy. Girl, we'll work on those resolutions together… Thanks for keeping me company while I write!   
**~~$~@~$~~**

Sara walked into her apartment and threw her keys down on the counter. She tore of her jacket and shirt as she entered her bedroom. Looking through her dresser drawers, she found her jogging bra, and sweat pants. She changed quickly, and then found her new pair of running shoes under her bed. She'd bought them when she first moved to Vegas, promising herself that she'd run more often, but she'd never worn them once. 

_'What do you do?'  
'Nothing.'_

Sara cringed as she reflected back on shift earlier that day. She kept telling herself that Grissom was only looking out for her, but it still made her feel sick inside. Who was he to tell her what to do? She's a grown woman and can take care of herself. She doesn't need his help. She doesn't need anyone. 

_'Okay. What do you like?'  
' I don't like anything.' _

She knew she'd been very short with him, as she usually was when he started acting all fatherly towards her, but she didn't care. He needed to learn when to back off. 

Sara sat down on her bed, and pulled the New Balance running shoes on her feet and tied the laces.   
Who was she kidding?   
She got off the bed, and began jogging in place, trying to break in her shoes a little before heading outside. It was nearly sunset and she was hoping to get back before it got to dark. In all honesty she didn't really care, though.   
She began stretching out her legs so she wouldn't pull or strain anything. The last thing she needed was to get injured and not be able to go out into the field. Work was her life. This much was true. She had always been passionate about her job. Grissom knew that from the first time he met her. Isn't that the same reason he had asked her to come to Vegas? Or was it something else?  
Sara shook her head, as if to get rid of all these thoughts and clear her head, but it didn't help. Grissom words kept echoing over and over again in her mind. 

'You've got to find something to like. You can't get too close to the victims.'  
'She's special ... to me. I can't help it.'

Pamela Adler's pale face and lifeless body kept flashing in front of Sara's eyes. She'd close her eyes, tight, but that didn't make the images go away. Her body had been so warm. She was alive, but not there. It was like her whole soul had already left.   
Sara could feel the tears falling down her cheeks as she exited her apartment and headed out to the park behind the building. She reached the bike path, and took off running, wishing she could go on forever until she could forget, or just pass out and not wake up until someone found her. 

But then again, who'd actually look? 

_'If you don't find something they'll all become special and you'll burn out'_

He was right…

She would burn out… 

And she could already feel it. She loved working in Vegas. She loved the people she worked with. But she knew she needed to take a break once in a while. Maybe go for a drink, or go to a movie. 

If she burnt out, who'd take care of the victims like Pamela Adler? 

She wouldn't burn out.  
The only sound Sara could hear was the pounding of her feet on the pavement. Before she knew it, she had already run over a mile without stopping. She spotted a bench ahead, and decided she'd stop for a minute, just to catch her breath. 

She slowed down a little bit and came to a stop by the wooden bench. She bent over, resting her hands on her knees, and slowly sat down on the bench, leaning back and breathing deeply. She wiped the sweat off of her forehead that had begun to mix with her salty tears.   
The shrill ring of her cell phone brought Sara back to reality. She had completely forgotten that it was in her jacket pocket.   
When she saw the name 'Nick Stokes' on her caller ID, a small smile played at her lips.   
"Hello?" She asked, still a bit breathless.  
"Sara?" Nick asked.  
"Yeah. Hi, Nick."  
"Are you okay? You sound out of breath," Nick pointed out, a bit worried.  
Sara chuckled. 'I'm fine. I just went for a run, that's all."  
"Oh, I didn't know you liked to run."  
"I used to run a lot to keep in shape and clear my head, but I haven't had time since I moved here," Sara explained.   
"Oh," Nick's response was short, and followed by complete silence.  
"Nick, are you still there?" Sara asked.  
"Yeah, I'm here."  
"Oh, I thought I lost the connection there for a minute. You got really quiet."  
"Sorry."  
After another few seconds of silence, Sara spoke up again. 'Nick, I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but was there a reason you called? I'm all hot and sweaty, and I'm sure if someone saw me right now, they'd run away. So, I'd like to finish my jog and go home."  
"Oh, Sara, you look fine," Nick replied quickly, so quietly Sara could barely hear him.  
Sara stifled a laugh. "What are you talking about Nick? You can't see me now."  
"How do you know?"   
Sara spun around when she heard the voice, and found Nick leaning up against a tree a few feet behind her.  
"Hey," he greeted, walking over to the bench and sitting down.  
"I'm sorry, Nick, I'll have to call you back. Some fine-lookin' Texan just sat down next to me," she said into her phone, then hung up, and shoved it back in her jacket pocket. She looked over at Nick, and noticed a shy smile forming on his lips.  
"So who was that on the phone?" Nick asked, playing along.  
Sara blushed and looked away from him. "Oh, just some guy I work with."  
"'Just some guy'?" Nick asked.  
"Yeah, just a guy," Sara repeated.  
"That's all he is?"   
Sara was a little shocked by his abrupt question. She looked into his eyes and noticed the teasing glint that was there a few minutes earlier had disappeared. "He's a good friend," she replied, quietly, her joking tone disappearing as well.   
"Well, I'm sure he cares about you a lot to have called you when I'm sure he'll see you at work tomorrow," Nick said softly, leaning in just a little.  
"I don't know why he bothered."  
"He was worried about you," Nick replied.  
"He should know that I'm a grown woman and can take care of myself." Sara spat and stood up suddenly, turning away from Nick and walking back in the general direction of her apartment building. 

"Sara!" Nick called, walking after her, quickly. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. "What's wrong?"  
Sara wiped at the tears that had started falling down her cheeks again, and sniffed. "I don't know how I am going to be able to put up with this day in and day out."  
"Sara-"  
"No, Nick. Grissom was right. I'm going to burn out. I need a life. I need to find a diversion." Sara hung her head in defeat. All she wanted to do was go home, and take a nice long bath, and curl up by her police scanner with a good forensic book. "I hate it when humans treat other humans like dirt. Who gave that guy the permission to rape and nearly murder Pamela, Nick? Who? It's not fair! Her husband… He's just so happy that she's alive. Doesn't he understand that she'll never speak to him again? He'll never be able to eat a meal with her… Or make love with her. She's alive, but still not there."

When she finished, tears were rushing down her cheeks, and she was nearly sobbing uncontrollably. She'd never broken down like this in front of anyone, let alone someone she'd been working with for less than a year. 

Nick placed his hand under her chin, and gently lifted her head, so he could look into her eyes. "Sara, you can't take the blame. There was nothing you could have done to save her." 

"Who said I was blaming myself?" Sara asked, taken aback by his accusation. 

"You don't hide your emotions as well as you think you do," Nick pointed out. "Why don't you let _me_ take care of _you for a change?" _

Sara gave him a confused look. "Why?" 

Nick linked his arm through Sara's and they began heading back towards her apartment building. "I know we haven't known each other for very long, Sara, but I do care about you a lot. I'm afraid to think of what would happen if Grissom was right. I don't want you to burn out. You love this job too much, and you're too good at it."  
"Thanks," Sara replied quietly. "But Nick… Why?" 

"Because, Sara, for the first time I have found someone who I enjoy being with. Someone I can laugh with, yet I can be serious two seconds later. I know we still have a lot to learn about each other, but I want to. I want to know you." 

Sara answered him with a silent "oh"  
"Let me take you out for a night on the town. Just the two of us. No work. No Grissom and no crime."  
Sara was silent for a few minutes, but soon agreed. "Sure."  
"Well, gee, Sar, don't sound too excited."  
"I'm sorry, but I'm really tired right now. I haven't gotten any sleep since Pamela was attacked. And you just bore your heart to me… And I-"

"Sara, just relax. Don't worry about it, okay? You're my friend, and I want to take care of you."  
"Nick-"

He shook his head, cutting her off. "Don't argue with me, Sara. We'll get you home, I'll draw you a bath, and you can relax. And since we're both off tonight, you can take a nap, and then we'll go out." 

"Nick, I can't sleep. I want to, but I just can't. I can't get her face out of my head. I can't get her husband out of my head. It's just so sad. I'm so tired, but when I lie down, I just can't close my eyes without seeing them."  
"I know." He gave her arm a squeeze. "I'll take care of you, okay?"  
"Okay, but Nick?"  
"Yeah?"  
Sara stopped walking, and looked up at him. "How'd you know I was here?"  
Nick smiled, and brushed the hair off of her forehead. "I come here sometimes to clear my head after a bad day at work. You're not the only one who takes these cases hard, Sara." 

"Oh," Sara replied. 

"My neighborhood is just on the opposite of the park that your apartment building is on. I walked over here. And when I saw you… I just called, and hoped you wouldn't bite my head off." He brushed another lock of hair out of her face, letting his fingers linger a bit too long. "I wanted to make sure you were okay," He added, his voice quieter than before.  
Without thinking Sara, leaned up and kissed him quickly on the lips. When she pulled away, she smiled shyly. "Thanks for everything, Nick."  
"Anything for you, Sara. Besides, I'd love to help give you some 'diversions'," he added with a wink.  
Sara just laughed as they headed back to her apartment, arm in arm.   
**~~$~@~$~~  
The End  
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**Well, I hope you enjoyed it... Please read and review! 


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